I tried to write this morning. I’ve been stuck in my head–half-formed ideas swirling through my mind but nothing worth committing to the page. This space I’ve created, this blog, is something I want to fill with meaning, not just noise.
It has been a week of ups and downs. At work, there has been the feeling of accomplishment that comes with beginning to contribute in meaningful ways–along with the challenge of taking on more responsibility. At home, things have been good. The routine of eating dinner in front of the TV has been disrupted by days we came home hungry to share stories about our days, talk about things we’d learned, and delve deep into conversations that mattered. Even though my days have been more stressful, I think M and I have reconnected this week in a way we hadn’t in a long time.
In some ways, I think this blog has played a role in that. Instead of zoning out until it was time for bed, I had a self-imposed goal to meet. I’ve always struggled with the work-life balance, but giving myself something to focus on outside of work has helped me give my personal life more attention.
And then… today happened. I’m still not in the habit of writing every day, and I’m still figuring out how to make it work. This morning, I sat down to write and nothing came. Now, it’s after midnight, and I’m here–doing the best I can to fulfill a promise I made. I know that ultimately it doesn’t matter to anyone but me if I succeed in creating a blog post for each day in June, but I’m trying. Whether this experiment fails or succeeds I’ll learn from it–and in life, that’s the best anyone can ask for.